Today Is: Who am I? Day

"Seeing and knowing are vital to tapping into our creative spirit... and they sometimes come from stillness, from aloneness, sometimes from seeing from a vastly different perspective." -- Patti Digh "Creative is a Verb"

“Implement something every day: Stretch your comfort zone.” -- unknown

If you follow my blog you know I’m in Austin but what you probably don’t know is that I’m out here getting my certification to a program called Insights. Insights is built around the model of personality identified by a Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. This program is designed to offer a framework for allowing self understanding and development. After sitting in class these past few days I’ve been given some insight into the types of patters that thread me up and attribute into the person that I am. We were presented with an overview description of who we are and as I read through it I came across this,

“Andrea wants to sample the best that life can offer.”
I read this sentence, underlined it and logged it in my mind; checking the box ‘true.’ I am always seeking to get the best out of life and in an effort to do so I find myself out tonight exploring this great town of Austin. As I have mentioned I received some recommendations as to where I should dine and delight so tonight I found myself at a recommended BBQ place. I was under the impression that Texas has off the charts, best of the best, BBQ, however after tonight’s meal I am left questioning and very skeptical. Anytime your ribs are delivered to your table within two minutes of ordering, it’s a little scary. And can I just say what kind of barbeque place does not douse their ribs in BARBEQUE? What’s up with that?? I’m telling you, I could not get out that place quick enough. You live and you learn I guess. At this point, I’m past eating and the only thing that sounds delightful is curling up in a quaint coffee shop and sitting down to write. So I make my way back to another suggested place called Jo’s café. I park and walk around the corner to my desired destination, however before I get to Jo’s I see a sign that reads, “Boutique Crawl”. Now for those of you that know me, you know I am not your avid shopper. I don’t follow fashion, nor do I enjoy spending hours at the mall, but for some reason (maybe it’s the bad BBQ speaking) I suddenly have the desire to shop. I find myself waltzing into boutique after boutique sampling the champagne and the wine and trying on an array of different clothes and walking out wondering, how am I going to fit all of this in my suitcase? By the time I make it over to Jo’s I am exhausted. All that shopping on little food has worn me out. So here I am, doing exactly what it is that I longed to do all evening, sitting in a corner, huddled with my back resting against the wall, typing feverishly away. As I sit here, I reflect over some of what I have learned in the past few days, and I think about the person that I have begun to become. Over the course of this experience called life I have learned a lot about myself and I am happy with where I am in my journey; however I know that my life has so much more to offer. I long for the days that I love what I do, I am excited about the relationships that I will continue to explore and understand and I look forward to those that I have yet to get to know. I am interested in seeing where my life leads me in the coming years and I know with all my heart that it will be nothing like I had expected. I fear losing those I love and never regaining my full health; yet I know in all of this God has a special plan. As I thought about these things, I was reminded of a book I once read called “The Invitation” by Oriah. If you haven’t read it, and you enjoy reading so called, “Self Help/Motivational” books I would highly recommend it. I am going to share with you “The Invitation”
“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the moon, ‘Yes!’
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

Now I know that this might not speak to you as it does me but I hope if nothing else it leaves you questioning, what does interest me and who do I long to be?

“I tend to laugh too loud, say I love you too much and quote Oprah like she resides in my soul… but that’s me.” –ACB

“I want to kick down the walls and explore this life.” – Drew Barrymore