“Fear only has as much power as we give it space.” – Josh Ritter“… I give myself permission to feel the pain, fear and devastation of all that confronted me, hoping that something miraculous would occur.” – Iyanla Vanzant Peace From Broken Pieces
“Your job at this moment isn’t facing what you fear, but planning to face it.” – Martha Beck ‘O Magazine’
As I walked around the lake this morning my mind raced with thoughts of fear and anxiousness about my surgery on Wednesday. I kept thinking to myself; enjoy this walk while you can because after Wednesday it might be a while before you’re able to partake in such activity. As my brain instinctively fell toward the negative I could feel my heart become heavier with each forward step, I began to get the sinking feeling that I could take no more; I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown, but then something very special happened…
I could feel it as your hand took hold of mine
I clenched my palm shut as your fingers found their way in between just fine
I was not able to find the words that I wanted to pray
As my brain was overwhelmed with the thoughts of my surgery just days away
Unsure of what to expect, afraid of all that is to be
I find myself speechless as you seem to be walking hand-in-hand with me
It feels as if you have a tightened grasp around my hand
I believe this is your way of showing me you’ll lift me up when I don’t have the strength to stand
As a tear forms and slowly makes its way down my cheek
You’ve once again found a way to ensure that I would listen to you as you speak
The song that rings out loudly in my ears
Reaffirms that through no part of this will I be alone; you’ll always be near
Although my head is still clogged with feelings of anxiousness and dread
I am able to find comfort from this song’s message said,
“I will stand by you I will help you through, when you’ve done all you can do, and you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fire, I will hold you tight, and I won’t let go.” (Rascal Flats, "Stand By You"I lift my chin from off my chest
Ready to confront this challenge, this painful test
As I know you will not allow me to take on more than I am able
And I know that you will overwhelm me with loved ones to keep me stable
As the days ahead draw nearer
Please calm my worried heart; bring peace where there is fear
And if it’s not too much to ask of you
I have one more little thing that I pray you will do
When I reach that point where I feel I just want to give in
Please remind me that this is all a part of your specially designed plan
Embrace me in your loving arms; help me feel you day after day
And at my weakest moments please remind me that everything will be one day be okay
God seems to always know just when to intervene and make his presence known, and today was no different. At my weakest moment he spoke to me. Tonight’s church service was about worry and trusting God in the times that you are scared. As the band sang out Bob Marley’s “Don’t Worry” I found myself swaying to the music and signing along as if I hadn’t a care in the world. I could picture myself on the beach, drinking an ice cold corona and soaking in the rays, jamming to “Don’t worry, about a thing, cause everything little thing is gonna be alright.” I once read a quote that said, “If you can’t change it why worry!” What good does worrying do anyone I wonder? Worrying has never cured cancer, never made a heartbeat, never stopped a car crash, and never stopped a loved one from cheating. Worry doesn’t make anything better; in fact, worrying often times tends to make things worse. So tonight I’m going to push my worries aside and pull from my faith, trusting that “every little thing is gonna be alright.”
“Fear grows out of the things we think; it lives in our minds. Compassion grows out of the things we are, and lives in our hearts.” -- unknown
“Every situation, if you think about it, is an invitation for you to react in a certain way, but being mindful gives you the chance to decide how to RSVP.” – Catherine Price
“Thank God for giving me many challenges but the eyes to see the blessings.” -- unknown
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