“We can all reprogram our brains responses by putting ourselves into new, initially uncomfortable situations. We’ll learn fear might not mean ‘stop’; I’ve come to believe fear usually means ‘go’.” – Frances Moore Lappe
“…trust God. He opened the way.” – Francine Rivers “Her Mother’s Hope”
Have you ever gotten that feeling that you are on the cusp of something new, something different, something that you’ve never done before, but you’re not sure what it is that lie ahead? It’s a feeling that is hard to describe… it’s almost like a tickle inside your throat wanting so bad to say something but instead sits and slides along your insides letting you know it’s there but holding on to the secret of when it will speak up. Unsure of what this small tickle might be, whether a hiccup, a cough, a choke attack or a laugh, you try hard to swallow, hoping that the feeling will somehow lose its grip and slip away unnoticed. After several minutes, and several exaggerated gulps later, you can still feel it. In desperation you try everything to rid yourself of this feeling; yet somehow it still remains. Why will it not go away, you wonder? Fear begins to settle in and you’re mind begins to create worse-case scenarios. What if “X” happens and I totally embarrass myself. The thought of humiliation gets the best of you and you walk away before anything can come about. As you find yourself alone later, that tickle has finally made its way to the surface and you speak the thoughts of your beautiful mind yet your words fall upon deaf ears as you hid yourself from fear of looking foolish. Saddened and ashamed you push aside these thoughts once more yet as before they come flooding back. This time however instead of speaking them you grab your journal and scribble frantically across the page. As you begin to write, your thoughts seem to flow with ease and your heart feels alive. When you are finished you look back over what you have written but quickly close the pages, reminding yourself of the fear you felt before. Days later you are once again presented with thoughts that you do not want to lose so you reach for your journal and open to the blank page. As you begin to write the ink effortlessly scrawls across the paper. Words become sentences and sentences soon become paragraphs. Before you know it you have written pages of your thoughts. That feeling of warmth inside your heart comes again and you begin to smile, however it fades as quickly as it came, as you are once again overcome by fear. When your thoughts come to you the following days you resist the urge to grab for your pen and paper, unsure of yourself and your words; but mostly fearing failure. You begin to question yourself and your writing, wanting desperately to believe that what you have written is worthy and well spoken but that little voice inside your head makes you believe that it is not. Glancing at your journal brings your thoughts to the forefront of your mind, you want so badly to write but the fear inside you keeps you from grabbing the pen. You reach forward towards an object that sits dangerously close to your journal; in your attempt to grab this item your arm brushes the pages, making you think about what is inside, the words, thoughts and sentences you let escape days before. ‘If I can’t write, I’ll read,’ you think to yourself. You grab your journal and flip open the pages rereading your previous thoughts. As you’re reading your mind and heart come alive. You are inspired by your own words, the words which just moments before seemed to frighten you. Continuing down the page you come across this sentence, “My fear of failure cannot keep me from pursuing my dreams. If I want this bad enough, I know that if I were to fail, I would make it a part of the journey not the ending destination.” You stop there, sitting unbelievably still, staring at your words. Instead of grabbing for your pen, you close the pages and let the journal fall to the floor. Before you can hear the thump of the pages hitting the ground you have already made it out the door declaring to yourself that today is the day that you leave behind your fears and walk with confidence toward your dreams! With your head held high and your shoulders back, you say to yourself, “I am a writer therefore I was born to write.”
“Sometimes what we need to hear is right in front of us.” – Patti Digh “Creative is a Verb”
“You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.” – David Viscott
{Writers Note: For my devoted blog followers I apologize for the many days of absence… Unfortunately what I have written above is true, I didn’t write due to my fear that I wasn’t good enough. Good enough for who you may ask, at which I would answer… ME! I had gotten into my own mind that I had hit a wall I like to call “writer’s block”. I would go to write but the words wouldn’t come so instead of writing what I did, I didn’t write in fear of failing… I promise I will not let this happen again. May this be a lesson to you all too, never quit doing what you love because you fear that you will fail at it, let it be a speed bump in the road not a stop sign! Thank you for continuing to read and inspiring me to continue to writeJ}
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