"If you believe in victory, then victory will believe in you. Risk everything in the name of change and keep well away from everything that offers you a world of comfort. Talent is a universal gift, but it takes a lot of courage to use it. Don't be afraid to be the best." -- Paulo Coelho The Winner Stands Alone

As the clock slowly ticks away, the countdown begins. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR! You notice as you scan the room that all around you people are embracing one another with a celebratory hug, kiss, high five. It's a moment in time when what people encountered over the past year; the joy and laughter, the success and triumph, the hurt and sorrow, the fear and humility, melts away and the slate is suddenly wiped clean. If only for a split second, the idea of starting a new year brings about hope and possibility for the future. Suddenly the room goes silent as someone has interrupted the celebration to make a toast. With glasses raised in the air you toast to not only what lies ahead in the future but what you left behind in the past. As you take a sip of the champagne you drink in the moment with appreciation and subtle reflection. You celebrate who you are, who you've become and who you one day aspire to be. For me, this year was no different. I rang in the new year amongst some of my dearest friends and as we counted down the seconds, I reflected on the previous years.

Over the past few years I have undergone a lot of change. Some good, some bad, some easy, some hard, some willingly and some I had no control over, needless to say this change was both uplifting and encouraging for it has made me into who I am today and brought me closer to who I long to become. I started thinking about what 2010 could bring for me, but more importantly what I could bring to it. "To find happiness you must be willing to ignore what life owes you and think about what you owe life." -- Unknown As I pondered what it was that fuels my fire I immeadiately thought of writing. I use writing as a session of therapy. I find both release and peace when I pick up a paper and scribble away with my pen, or when I can sit and peck away at a keyboard. Over the years I have struggeled to speak the words about the way that I feel, and I have discovered that the best way for me to truly express myself is through written word. I have created this blog as a way for me to reveal my bare soul and as a tool to speak what's on my mind. My hope is that this will bring me insight, encouragement and self growth as I look back on my past. May this be a learning tool that both educates and inspires, and also a reminder of the lessons learned. I hope that when I reflect back on choices that I made I can learn from both my failures and successes. May I also be reminded that knowledge is power, for the more I know the less I have to fear, for fear is a debilitator. We tend to fear that which we do not know. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." -- Albert Einstein

It was just the other day when I was reading Paulo Coelho's book, The Winner Stands Alone for book club that I read, "She always had a terrible fear of cancer, and as Job says in the Bible, the thing that she greatly feared came upon her. She died of the dread illness..." Although my eyes continued reading, my mind had stopped with that sentence as it mulled over the words I had just read. FEAR! A powerful short four letter word that brings about much emotion. Fear causes us to walk away from great opportunities, express our true feelings, go after our dreams and aspirations and indulge in our true selves. FEAR hinders our ability to believe and achieve our greatest beings. As I thought about this, I thought to myself, how could we create an environment that empowers people to overcome their FEAR and AWAKEN their soul?

Too often we are injected with ideas of fear that we tend to shy away from things that scare us as a way to protect ourselves from being hurt. For instance, one of my goals in life is to write a children's book and have it published. I have been working on this semi-seriously for almost a year now. A few months ago I met with the woman that I have asked to illustrate my book and she provided with some critical but relevant and appreciated feedback. Ever since then I have not been confident enough to begin writing for my book. I have continued to tell myself, along with others, that I have had a "serious" case of writers block, when in reality I was the only thing blocking myself from writing. This FEAR that I have recently developed in regards to failing to write something worthy enough to be published has failed me to not write anything at all. I continue to ask myself what is it that will awaken me to believe in myself again?

It was just recently that I got out my pad and paper and scribbled down a short story for a friend. I have begun to realize that this person is capable of bringing out a side of me that not many can, for they are able to draw out my colors allowing them to shine brightly on a blank canvas. This special individual has awoken my creative side again and brought me back to life. When I am around this person I FEAR no more, for it is at these times that I feel most alive.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
It's not just in some of us, it is in everyone.
And as we let our own lights shine,
We unconciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others." -- Coach Carter


May you be reminded with each day that passes you are the creator of your own destiny. Do not let fear hold you back from doing things that you both desire and long for. Surround yourself amongst friends, family and loved ones who will challenge you to become a better YOU and may you take on the challenge of doing the same for someone else. As the month of March continues challenge yourself to be the light in the darkness, the joy where there was sorrow, and the artist that paints the path towards liberation and hope. And as Ghandi once said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."